I. Am. So. Fucked.

My lab results came back today. The two tests for Rheumatoid Arthritis were negative, as they’ve always been. My doctor ordered a new test that I’ve never heard of. It’s similar to ANA only it’s used specifically to diagnose Lupus, MCTD, Sjorgrens, and Scleroderma. The only antibody that was high was my RNP, which indicates that I still have MCTD. Not like it just magically goes away 🤨 I’m not going to wake up one day and poof, no more MCTD. 🙄

My CRP did not improve since my most recent Cellcept dose increase. It oddly enough is exactly the same as it was before the increase. My dose will increase by 1000mg and take me from 2000mg to 3000mg. 2000mg is the “therapeutic” dose and the 3000mg is the maximum dose. I have to repeat the labs in 6 weeks to recheck my CRP.

Normally, when a new medication is added or an existing one gets a dosage change, I’m upset, but in a few days I’m fine. Right now, I’m in panic mode. I knew that my labs would come back abnormal, but a part of me didn’t want to believe it. If this dosage fails me, the same way Plaquenil and Methotrexate did, I’m out of options. It’s basically game over at that point.

I don’t know what to think or how to feel about this. This disease is so far out of my control, it’s unreal. What little hope I had, is gone. Now it feels like I’m in purgatory, waiting for the ‘thing’ that’s going to do me in. I don’t understand how it got this bad, this fast. I did everything my doctors told me to do and for what? For the most important medication to fail, 3 times now. Absolute bullshit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s