Update and Much Needed Rant

So, I had my much-anticipated appointment with my Ortho to find out the results of my MRI. MRI showed no new damage to the muscles or tissues nor did it show signs of damage to the previous repairs. I should have been happy right? Relieved at least. Nope. I was aggravated and on the verge of tears from the frustration. You all must think I’m a nut job for feeling that way but, hear me out.

I was hoping for a tear or something that can surgically fixed. Why? Because (to me) it’s an easy fix. MRI says A is torn and C is detached from D; you go in, fix A, reattach C to D, go to shitty physical therapy for longer than you want or need (because, naturally, the insurance wants more money) and done. It sounds complicated but, honestly, having gone through multiple orthopedic surgeries, it’s a cake walk. Well if there’s no bone, muscle, or tissue damage than what’s been causing the weakness and pain?

Two words. Nerve damage. I knew that there was some nerve damage but ‘blamed’ most of the issues I’ve been having on the muscle or tissue damage that [I know now] doesn’t exist. I was supposed to have my nerve induction test at the end of January but had to reschedule. If you’ve ever had one of these, you know the suck that awaits me. If you don’t know what an EMG (Electromyography) is, let me give you a brief and horrifying description. An EMG is a test (invented by sadists) in which you have needles inserted under your skin in various places [the number depends on different factors]. Once that bit of awesomeness is done, you then get electromagnetic shocks sent to every. single. needle. This bit of fun measures the conducting function of the selected nerves. What’s even more fun is that if the results show that one or more nerves are damaged [depending on location and “connection” of said nerve(s)] there are very limited options. One being having the nerves BURNED. Burned. How in the fuck do you burn a nerve? That’s completely rhetorical. Please, nobody Google it and inform me. Dead serious, I’ll give myself an aneurysm. Sounds like rainbows and unicorns doesn’t it?!! I’d rather chew on roadkill to be quite honest.

My new appointment is scheduled for a week from today, so, of course I’ll tell you all about my good time. Speaking of appointments. I was supposed to have my initial consult with the back surgeon like…a month ago? First, it got cancelled due to the ¼ inch of snow we got. Then, [me being me] I missed my rescheduled appointment because I decided to put in my calendar wrong. For real, this Post-Concussion Syndrome sucks majorly. Anyway, ever since my second missed appointment I’ve been playing phone tag with this one woman from the [doctors’] office. I’m losing the game. Every time I call this woman back I either get her voicemail, or the office is closed for the day, or they’re at lunch and I forget to call back until god knows when. Mind you, I have a whiteboard calendar hanging in my office area, the same information on my phone calendar, AND my mom has my schedule of her phone. Yet, somehow, I manage to screw up appointment time and dates regularly. Good times.

On a brighter note, my birthday is in 17 days. I asked for one of two things this year; a puppy or a lobotomy. Sadly, I doubt I’ll be getting either one. Whomp whomp whomp.

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